i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
