why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
