I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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