I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
