Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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