My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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