When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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