I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
