I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
