As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
