Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee

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(973): View more from New Jersey

too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.

(507): View more from Minnesota

she is a standing ovation.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.

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(631): View more from New York

I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me

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(705): View more from Ontario

We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

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(631): View more from New York

I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow

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