And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
