What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Never underestimate the power of titties
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