Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
