I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
