are you still at the devil's house?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
