i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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