Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
