Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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