So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
