whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
