I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
