Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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