wat bout pragnant strippers??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
