Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
