Umm I'm too high to move.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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