Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I lost the right to judge tonight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
