I hate all girls vehemently.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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