is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
