i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
