Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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