The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
