I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
