We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
