now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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