so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
