I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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