well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
