I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
