As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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