I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
