Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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