he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
