there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
