I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
