This girl is more easily done than said...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
