I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
