Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
