so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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