I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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